Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Buttercup's Revolt!

Right before noon, I posted on Facebook that it was "Almost time for this buttercup to suck it up."
We are in the middle of crazy heat here in Massachusetts. At noon in Mansfield today, it was 95+ (probably more in the sun and pavement) and a bazillion % relative humidity. That all combines for a "feel like" temperature of "Oh dear God, every breath I take is igniting my lungs! Good thing the humidity puts the fire out."

At noon today, I set out for a standard lunch run with Scott. Our typical is 6mi at an easy 8:15ish pace.

I present to you my internal monologue from today's run. For this post my "animal survival brain" will be called Buttercup.

Mile 0:

  • Buttercup: Seriously dude? It really hot. Besides, you already dragged us out of bed to swim this morning.
  • Me: Suck it up, Buttercup. We've been running in this stuff all summer. We're used to this.
Mile 2:

  • Buttercup: Come on, man? At least slow down a little.
  • Me: We're fine. Only 4 more miles to go. I'll look for some shady spots.
Mile 4:

  • Buttercup: Oooh, look there's Marathon Sports. Let's go in there and get a drink and cool down.
  • Me: OK. Make it quick. We gotta get back to work.
Mile 4.5:

  • Buttercup: Getting really hot in here. Why the hell did you shave your head yesterday and not wear a hat. The sun is hot. Are you trying to boil me? Slow the hell down and find some shade.
  • Me: Hold on a little longer. Only 1.5 miles to go and we can cool off.
Mile 5:

  • Buttercup: EFF YOU! That's enough. I'm taking the legs and I'm outta here. Find your own damn way home!
I told Scott to keep motoring on and I proceeded to walk, run, try not to puke for the last mile. I haven't had a truly horrible run in a while and I wouldn't call this one truly horrible but it was close.

Pretty sure my eyeballs are still sweating. I was not sad to discover that I am invited to a lunch meeting tomorrow.